|2425 Clover Street,
Rochester, NY 14618
ARTICLES & ANSWERSSenior Life and Jennifer Meagher RN are featured on the WHEC News 10 website: www.WHEC.com. Jennifer answers questions from people like you and writes an article as well. She’s been writing for News 10 since 2007.
The most common questions asked of Senior Life are about life planning; options, costs and decisions. These letters and articles outline some of the considerations. Need more information? Book a consultation for complete information for your situation.
PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE MOM AND GUILT ARTICLE
Do you worry you aren’t doing enough for your parents? Maybe you don’t live nearby or maybe other demands in your life take your time and energy?
Do your parents “make” you feel guilty? Are they demanding too much of you? Or worse, are they being passive aggressive and throwing hints or comments that leave you feeling like you might explode?
Welcome to the club; you definitely are not alone. It is very difficult to stand witness to our parents aging. We want to take good care of them, after all, they took good care of us. We often feel we must be “good children” and berate ourselves as selfish if we don’t think we are doing enough for them. Look, there is only so much time in the day and only so much we can do to help our parents remain in their own home.
Guilt’s best friend is anxiety; when we feel guilty, we feel anxious too. When we think about the care our parents need, we worry about how to help and our anxiety hits new highs as we imagine what our parents will need from us in the years to come.
Stop. Make an appointment with yourself. Look at your weekly schedule. Where can you fit in help for your parents? Or what can you afford in regards to buying them some help? A gardener perhaps or a housekeeper. What’s on your calendar which you might set aside to make time for your parents? How much should you do is personal and dependent on the needs of your loved ones. I recommend that you think ahead. What amount of involvement on your part will keep regrets at bay when your parents are gone?
If you are struggling with the “right thing” to do, or with differing views in the family, contact a geriatric care manager for assistance. It is money well spent.
Locally Serving Upstate NY with Remote Services Available Throughout the USA